It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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