i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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