So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
