He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
