I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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