so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
