I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Blow job season was short but glorious.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
