New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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