Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pants are for mortals
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
