even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
