I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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