come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize