This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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