why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
