We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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