just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
