I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
