i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
