dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
