guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
