I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
