we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
