Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
