Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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