goodnight i made you a song goodbye
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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