I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
