They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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