I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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