I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
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also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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