Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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