Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"