Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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