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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  That is a good question.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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• (650): View more from California

  How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i do.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Are you high?

  (425): View more from Washington

  The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?

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