Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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  (860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot. http://tfl.nu/hpow
  Replies (87) Good night (1151) Bad night (6273)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  (407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz
  Replies (47) Good night (12117) Bad night (1218)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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  (309): Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete http://tfl.nu/n4gc
  Replies (36) Good night (6205) Bad night (1162)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6548) Bad night (857)
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  (518): View more from New York

  for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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  (518): for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt http://tfl.nu/1w5z
  Replies (11) Good night (863) Bad night (2943)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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  (318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v
  Replies (21) Good night (1394) Bad night (5478)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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  (231): you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob. http://tfl.nu/xbl2
  Replies (25) Good night (9597) Bad night (994)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.

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  (816): Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/rxnt
  Replies (18) Good night (4481) Bad night (973)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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  (204): Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god http://tfl.nu/wk7v
  Replies (33) Good night (1379) Bad night (3349)
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  (916): View more from California

  My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.

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  (916): My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher. http://tfl.nu/1p6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1342) Bad night (1137)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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  (801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1382) Bad night (755)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...

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  (803): He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/usg6
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (236)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.

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  (229): Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you. http://tfl.nu/0zda
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (229)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!

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  (315): Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night! http://tfl.nu/mal7
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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  (352): You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on. http://tfl.nu/uyd0
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (147)

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