Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.

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  (715): Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar. http://tfl.nu/6xi2
  Replies (1) Good night (3641) Bad night (1086)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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  (405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6
  Replies (13) Good night (3765) Bad night (1154)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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  (973): America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am http://tfl.nu/1gc0
  Replies (8) Good night (7281) Bad night (958)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

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  (713): I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes http://tfl.nu/wjig
  Replies (41) Good night (5466) Bad night (1120)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?

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  (412): Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something? http://tfl.nu/z60e
  Replies (2) Good night (2545) Bad night (846)
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  (569): View more from

  Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?

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  (569): Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain? http://tfl.nu/hx2h
  Replies (6) Good night (988) Bad night (2187)
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  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (1019) Bad night (1918)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents

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  (802): Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents http://tfl.nu/oucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1980) Bad night (819)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.

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  (224): We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. http://tfl.nu/n3ep
  Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (552)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.

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  (512): She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on. http://tfl.nu/lja4
  Replies (17) Good night (867) Bad night (1382)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.

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  (317): I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child. http://tfl.nu/h99a
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (508)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (8) Good night (1899) Bad night (624)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.

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  (317): This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/2l1q
  Replies (1) Good night (811) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (437)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?

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  (570): Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises? http://tfl.nu/4z08
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (349)

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