Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?