I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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