I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
