youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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