On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
