dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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