dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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