if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize