Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
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I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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