Dude my mom stole all your condoms
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
