I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
