she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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