I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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