11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My vagina just recognized that song.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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