Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize