It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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