An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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