I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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