do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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