hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
