i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
