they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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