I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
