hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
