You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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