I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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