its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
