Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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