I skipped work to stalk him.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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