I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We named our party play list daddy issues
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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