Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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