So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
