Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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