Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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